I would be lying if I said I was always a laid back personality. Actually I’m pretty hyper and can be intense. I don’t however usually let things bother me or dwell much. After being pregnant with the sweet little love who stole my heart, that all changed.
Getting back to “my normal” has been a process. As you may have read in my earlier posts, finding calmness has been like the peeling of an onion, that didnt ever seem to end-EVER. Every time I thought I had it sorted out, I would get a little bout of mommy anxiety, but much less then the time before.
I started doing yoga when I was in my twenties, before baby. Many styles, hot yoga was a favorite. Although I saw how the slow movements and short moments of sitting in stillness (shavasana ) at the end could bring me a quieter mind I wasn’t totally sure it would help my new found severe mommy anxiety. I was a run it out, box it out type of girl, anything intense.
I started taking Saturday mornings to workout knowing it would help. Yoga was mostly appealing as I was still recovering from childbirth and it seemed easy enough. I had to sneak out before my munchin was awake. Classes were limited and Kundalini Yoga was my only choice this particular day. I decided I’d try, so I googled this new class. It sounded a little more “Ommmmy” and less fitness related. Because of this I was skeptical, I was ready to leave if “it got too weird”.
The instructor was great, she spoke right to me. She said just what I needed to hear. I’m pretty sure the lesson for that day or “crea” was anxiety. By the end of class I was less in my head, I felt lighter and I was smiling on my drive home. Although in my life I am blessed with a wonderful family and couldn’t ask for more, the smile felt like it hadn’t visited my face in a while. I had been so serious. Worrying about all the things mommys can conjure up. Is this really all it took? Deep breathing and chanting? Some intense movements?
For me it felt like a pattern : breathe, chant, do an intense movement repeatedly until you were fighting your mind to stay with it, over come the mind, breathe appreciate your victory, chant a loving prayer, repeat. This was truly a magical formula. I hate to ever miss a Saturday.
Ive had such a wonderful experience I’ve invited friends and family. They all say the same, if they miss the Saturday they feel off keel. If you are a mommy, daddy, or person in this wild world I encourage you to give your mind a chill pill, without the pill!
I’ve read so many blogs and message boards with mommy’s struggling. This is truly worth a try! From one mommy to another, it gets hard, you have your patience tested, are sleep deprived at times, overwhelmed and emotional. Plus on top of all that we have to live our regular lives and all the craziness that happens there too! You’ve earned time for yourself. I now feel like a better mommy and a better version of myself.
In good mental health 🙂